Jayne's Confession
by StriderX
Summary: Post Movie. During the weeks after 'Serenity', Jayne becomes deeply depressed, and no one knows why. Will a talk with Kaylee help him open up? Kaylee's POV. OneShot. Please R


**A/N:** YAY! Hello again people of FanFic! Guess what! Not only is this my first Firefly/Serenity story, but it's also my first story done in a POV! gets hit by a tomatoe from impatient reader Hmph...wipes tomatoe juice off face Right. Too excited, huh? Okay, okay, well ON WITH THE STORY THEN! This is a little bit different then anything I've read about Jayne and Kaylee, seeing that's it's NOT a romance, so I thought it'd be interesting to see what you guys thought. Oh, and just for all you 'grammer crazy' freaks out there, I AM aware that a great deal of this is told in somewhat bad-grammer. It's told in Kaylee's POV, meaning it's told in her voice. Have you heard her grammer!

**Warnings:** SPOILERS FOR 'SERENITY'! If you have not seen the movie yet, DO NOT read! I promise, it'll ruin a very big part for you.

**Disclaimer:** Common people...do we really need these? I mean really...I obviously DON'T own Firefly, Serenity, or any of the characters mentioned within, cuz if I did, this would be published, and I would have a million dollars. So for cryin' out loud, DON'T SUE me! If you do, all you'll get is...fishes through pockets...a pack of PEZ candy, an empty wallet, a paperclip, a broken pencil, and my ticket stub from 'Serenity'.

Enjoy, and PLEASE REVIEW!

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**Jayne's Confession  
****By: StriderX**

Boy Diary, these last couple weeks sure have been hard on us all. Between rebuildin' the Serenity, dealin' with the losses of Wash and Shepard, and tryin' to heal from all our wounds, we're all pretty well warn out. It's just not right round here without them, you know? And it's so quiet. Nobody talks anymore...not like we used to, anyway. We still have dinner together every night and breakfast in the morning, but nobody ever laughs. We just sit, eat, have some awkward conversation, and get back to our workin's.

We're all tryin' to make an effort though. Even Zoë cracks a little smile every time she passes me. There's somebody that's actin' a way bit out of character, though...even for times like these. Can you guess who? Bet you can't.

I've been on this old girl nearly bouts a year now, and in everything we've seen and been through, the one person I've never seen slowed down is Jayne Cobb. I don't know if it's cuz he just doesn't care, or if it's his way of helpin' out the mood, but he's always the same. No matter what happened, he was always 'Jayne'. Always. "Strong, stupid, and neurotic," is what the Cap' calls him.

But not this time.

Every since we got our feet back on the ground, big-bad Jayne's stopped actin' like I've come to expect. Take yesterday, for example. Yesterday afternoon, Cap' sent me and Jayne out to town to get some food supplies and such. Well, we went, but while we were out, no matter what I said, what fine young lady past by, or what opportunity for a stupid comment came and past, he never said a word. In fact, he doesn't talk much at all anymore. Just does whatever Cap' asks without complaint and disappears for hours on end.

I saw Cap' tryin' to talk to him 'bout it the other day, but he wouldn't here nothin' of it.

I knew somethin' was wrong just like anybody else, and I wanted to help. So, like anybody would's, in my opinion, I went looking for him. I knew he was on the ship...somewhere. Easier said then done. I never realized how big Serenity is until I actually tried finding someone in it. I swear I must have spent two whole hours looking for him last night.

I had covered the cargo bay, airlock, kitchen, cockpit, engine room; even Jayne's bunk. Nowhere. I don't know how he does it, but for a big guy, he sure is good at hidin'. It was gettin' late, and I was exhausted. I didn't want to, but I finally decided to give up for the night. That's when I ran into River in the hall.

Simon says she's gettin' much better, but somethin' about her still makes me jump inside. Maybe it was the way she destroyed all those Reaver's without breakin' as much as a sweat. But that's another story.

She looked at me with those deep brown eyes of hers and smiled. "Jayne's outside," is all she said before skippin' away towards her room. I looked a little shocked, I think, but then again, nothin' really surprises me with River anymore.

Too busy thinkin' bout what it must be like to know everythin' before it happens, I hadn't realized that I'd made my way outside. And wouldn't you know it, there was Jayne. Next to me on a crate just outside the open doors, was Jayne. Smokin' a half-lit cigar and leanin' 'gainst Serenity's hull, he looked almost like he was dreamin' awake. His eyes were open, but he wasn't really there.

I have to admit, I was a little nervous to talk to him...bein' it's Jayne we're talkin' bout here. Slowly though, I made my way over to him and tried smilin' a nice friendly smile. He didn't look at me, so I decided to say somethin'. "Mind?" I asked nicely; gesturin' to the open space next to him on the crate.

Took him a couple seconds for him to actually notice I was talkin' to him, but eventually he looked at me with eyes holdin' a sadness lookin' like somethin' awful and shrugged.

I figured it was okay, so I sat down and tried to get a conversation started with him. I swear Diary, that man is the hardest there is to open up! I tried everything from talking about Serenity's new engine, to the beautiful fall weather on the planet...nothin' worked. After 'bouts ten minutes or so, I finally just went for it. "What's wrong, Jayne?" I asked.

He looked at me and pulled the burnt cigar out of his mouth. "Nothin'," he said quietly; turnin' back to look into town.

"Common Jayne," I says; tryin' not to get too much on his bad side. "We all know somethin's up. Why don't you wanna talk bout it?"

"'Cuz I don't," he growled flatly.

I knew I was gettin' him annoyed, but I figured, 'hey, after all I've lived through, I think I can handle Jayne's temper.' "We all miss 'em, you know," I tried again.

He sighed. I think he finally realized I wasn't gonna give into him. "It ain't them."

I was a bit shocked there for a minute. For the first time since I'd known him, Jayne's voice was...sad. Not gruff and menacin' like it usually was, but quiet and sad. "Then what?" I asked calmly.

He started closin' off again, I could tell. "Nothin'. It's no matter anymore."

I thought he was gonna leave for a minute, but when he didn't, I dared to push him just a little more. "Everything matters, Jayne. Whether it's in the past or the future. Everything matters to someone," he looked at me then and raised an curious eyebrow. "The Shepard told me that one."

"Good ol' Shepard," Jayne shook his head and stared at his slowly burning cigar. "I had a family once, you know," he said suddenly.

'This is it!' I thought. 'He's finally opening up!' I wanted to choose my words carefully, but you know what happens to me when I think too hard. "Had?"

"Yeah..." he sighed heavily and fiddled again with his cigar. "Had two brothers and a little sister," he smiled almost ironically; I felt my heart twitch. "They're all dead now."

"Oh...I'm sorry," I felt like an idiot. All this time, Jayne's been fightin' with his own past and here I go sayin' the dumbest things in the book.

"Not your fault, girl," he said softly before takin' a deep breath of smoke.

I didn't know what to say, and he wouldn't talk, so there we were...sitting outside the Serenity, quiet and mindin' our own thoughts. Just watchin' the world pass us by. It must have been a good five minutes before he said anythin' else.

"...it was mine," he whispered to the wind.

"Jayne, I-" darn it! For the first time, I actually had somethin' in mind to say, and he cuts me off!

"Save your breath for your boyfriend," he growled bitterly as he stood from his seat and walked into the casual crowd surrounding the town.

So that was it, Diary. That was how I came the only one onboard to have a glimpse at the real Jayne Cobb. Pretty, ain't it? Ha. Why does it seem like I'm the only one on this boat who doesn't have a screwed up past?

Ain't no matter, I suppose. It's hard, but we all gotta move on someday. 'Like a leaf on the wind' we gotta be. That's what Wash would say. Maybe one day we can all learn to sore...just like he did.

Love,  
Kaylee

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**A/N2:** Thankx for reading! I hope you enjoyed it:) Don't forget to review on your way out!  



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